3 SKILLS NEEDED FOR SUCCESS AS A GIRL BOSS

 Let’s just admit it right here, we all get comparison-itis. Yes, it’s a condition where we look at other successful women in our industry and we compare, and we wonder why them, why not me? How did they become so successful? Why can’t I have that level of success? What’s their secret?

We All Want To Be Successful, But Comparing Your Beginning To Someone Else’s Middle Isn’t Gonna Do You Any Good.

In fact, after a year of following the best in my industry, studying their behaviors, subscribing to their lists, and basically stalking them 24/7, I saw three key things that each and every one of them has. It’s these three skills that have allowed them to become a successful girl boss.

It’s also something that I am trying to practice in my own business. The only person that can stop us from reaching the kind of life and success we desire is ourselves. So, let’s get out of our own way, change our mindset, and just start.

1 // Confidence

This one is the key to unlocking all the rest. Female entrepreneurs that are successful aren’t afraid to put themselves out there and promote their business every. single. day.

Lack of confidence is something I think we all struggle with at one point or another in our lives, and if left unchecked it can absolutely hurt your success as a female entrepreneur.

To put it simply, if you lack confidence in yourself it will reflect back as a lack of confidence in your business.

If you want people to believe in the services and/or products you’re offering, and ultimately hand over their credit cards, then you have to show up, give insane value, and be authentic, so they can get to know, like, and trust you.

Having many ideas and never following through with them because you don’t believe enough in yourself is something I had to overcome in order to find my own success.

You need to believe in yourself, know that you have what it takes to put yourself out there and go after your dreams. Get out of your own damn way and just start.

2 // Self-Discipline

There are times in my business when I am so motivated that I don’t want to stop working. I can’t sleep, and I just work like a madwoman. The passion I have for what I do creates the madness, but then some days I just don’t feel motivated to do anything at all.

Being your own boss is great. There’s no one we have to answer to. But this also means there is no one there to hold us accountable. This is where it pays to have a plan.

So how can you get more disciplined? Set some attainable sort-term goals.

List your goals for the next 90 days. Choose one main goal to focus on. For example, my goal was to get more subscribers on my list. Everything I focused on was list-building.  I created blog posts and was active on social media.

We can only achieve the results we desire if we buckle down and do what needs to be done, even when we don’t feel like doing it.

Self-discipline is the fastest way to success as a #girlboss.

Another trick I found is by setting deadlines with my audience. It holds me accountable and keep’s me from putting things off.

For example, I wanted to do a live webinar for the last 3 months and I just kept putting it off. Well, I just decided to announce it to my audience 5 days before we go live. Now there’s no procrastinating on that. Oh shit, I better get to work!

3 // Get Visible

The only difference between you and the other people in your industry who are crushing it… They’re all in. They put themselves out there, every single day. They pushed through their doubts and fears, and just went for it anyways.

This is where your self-discipline and confidence need to come into play. You have to show up and be consistent every. single. day. And you have to have a plan.

Visibility Tips:

• Post in Facebook groups, and offer your help to those who need it.
• Consider starting a group of your own on Facebook and invite your email subscribers to join.
• Post daily on 2-3 social channels. I like Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Do live broadcasts with Facebook live or Periscope.
• Host some webinars, do guest posts, and whatever else you can think of to get yourself in front of your ideal audience.

I hope this post inspired you to become the best version of yourself. Go after those dreams ladies, and don’t ever give up.

11 Meditation Myths You Should Stop Believing

It can seem like there are more ways to fail than succeed at meditation. We plop down on a cushion, twist our legs into lotus pose and decide to give meditation a try, expecting a clear mind and sense of calm. 

                In reality, the experience of meditation is often anything but that. Random thoughts race through our mind. The breath is the very last thing we can focus on. We sneak a glance at the clock and find it’s only been two minutes, when it felt like 20. Why is meditation so hard?

The truth is that we often expect meditation to be something it’s not, and end up focusing on the wrong things. These misconceptions about meditation make us feel like we can’t do it. We get frustrated, give up and miss out on all the ways it can enhance our lives.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I can’t meditate,” it might be time to revisit the practice with a deeper understanding of what meditation is really about. Here are the 11 meditation myths that might prevent you from experiencing the life-changing benefits of the practice, according to mental health experts and meditation teachers.

Myth: Meditation must be practiced in silence.

Fact: “Vipassana meditation, which involves being completely still with a subtle, natural breath, is the type of meditation many think of at first. But we can also enter a flow state and access a meditative calm when walking, running, humming or singing. The idea is to transcend our usual ruminating thoughts and focus our full attention on our breath. A quiet mind and activated calm don’t necessarily need to be accompanied by a still or quiet body,” said Stephanie Thoma, meditation facilitator, networking strategy coach and author of “Confident Introvert.”

Myth: The goal of meditation is to clear your mind.

Fact: “Meditation is about watching the mind and trying to achieve a deeper control of its natural state through the awareness of thought. It’s through this deeper awareness that mindfulness can be found, and it can be achieved through different tactics using concentration techniques such as mantras, conscious breathing, body scans or being the watcher of the thoughts appearing and disappearing in the mind itself. When our everyday ‘monkey mind’ presents its usual thought patterns, catching it in the act and bringing peaceful concentration and awareness back to the forefront is the successful art of meditation,” said Juliana Spicoluk, meditation instructor and co-founder of the yoga lifestyle brand Boho Beautiful.

Myth: Meditation is relaxing.

Fact: “It’s a myth that meditation calms you or makes you feel better. Meditation can actually cause some dysregulation or anxiety because it might be the first time that someone sits with the discomfort of their inner experience. They may observe things that they don’t like or that scare them. When we start to pay attention, truths are brought into consciousness where they had previously been hidden underneath layers of defensiveness. Although relaxation can sometimes be a fringe benefit of a particular meditation, some days you simply might have noticed that your mind was all over the place,” said Katie Krimer, therapist at Union Square Practice in New York City and founder of Growspace. 

Myth: Meditation isn’t working if your mind wanders.

Fact: “If you noticed you were having thoughts during meditation, that means you were doing it right. Meditation is about honing our ability to notice various aspects of our internal experience—not about changing that internal experience. The more we practice meditation, the better we get at not getting caught up in our thoughts. Eventually this can help us feel more in control and more tranquil, but the thoughts don’t disappear. In fact, when people tell me they had no thoughts during a meditation, I just assume they didn’t notice them,” said Paul Greene, meditation instructor, psychologist and director of Manhattan Center for Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy in New York City. 

Myth: Meditation is hard.

Fact: “While it can be challenging to sit down and meditate for extended periods of time, we meditate all the time. Meditation is the act of putting the mind on an object of focus for an extended period of time. We already do that with Netflix, with Instagram and more. The point of meditation is to meditate on something that will change our lives or help us grow in some way. There is a lot of evidence that meditating on compassion for all beings, impermanence or even where your anxiety or depression are really coming from is immensely helpful to people,” said Stephen McManus, meditation teacher and director of Three Jewels Meditation Studio in New York City.

Myth: Meditation is a selfish indulgence.

Fact: “Meditation is only selfish if sleeping and physical exercise are also selfish. Meditation is an essential exercise for your mind and awareness. It makes you calmer, less reactive and more centered. This positively influences people around you and empowers you to do a better job at work,” said Giovanni Dienstmann, meditation teacher, creator of the meditation blog Live & Dare and author of “Practical Meditation: A Simple Step-by-Step Guide.” 

Myth: Meditation will make you weak.

Fact: “I’ve heard from many men that they think meditation will make them soft, that they’ll lose their edge. Meditation stops the fight-or-flight response and brings us to the present where we can work on responding, rather than reacting. Meditation sharpens our focus and heightens our performance. Many sports figures meditate and there are even professional teams that use meditation and self-hypnosis instructors,” said Kathy Gruver, meditation teacher, stress reduction instructor and author of “Conquer Your Stress With Mind and Body Techniques.” 

Myth: You must be sitting to meditate. 

Fact: “You can meditate and achieve a mindful state while moving. My favorite meditations are walking meditations, hiking meditations, meditations where you observe your environment and narrate what’s around you. Research has shown that moving meditations provide benefits similar to those of non-moving meditations, including reducing anxiety and worry, achieving a more peaceful state of mind and organizing your thoughts. Moving meditations also have additional benefits, such as boosting blood flow, increasing circulation and improving digestion,” said Dr. Judy Ho, clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, associate professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and author of “Stop Self-Sabotage.”

Myth: You’re not “good” at meditation.

Fact: “Meditation can come in many forms, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. It’s called a meditation practice because we are practicing at strengthening a skill of both open monitoring and focused attention. There is no such thing as being ‘good’ at meditation. The purpose of meditation is not to get your thoughts to stop or to feel zen-like and peaceful. It’s an opportunity to practice a new way responding to thoughts, emotions, sensations or distractions, and rewire your brain for new habits and patterns,” said Joree Rose, meditation teacher, marriage and family therapist and author of “Mindfulness: It’s Elementary.”

Myth: Meditation is a religious practice. 

Fact: “Although many religions talk about meditation and its importance, it does not have to be a religious thing. I tell my students to look at it as a spiritual thing without the rules or dogma of religion. Whereas prayer is asking, meditation is receiving, and from whom you receive is really up to you, whether that be God, Allah, your higher self, the universe or something else. A belief in God does not need to deter anyone from meditating,” said Jaime Pfeffer, meditation teacher and life balancing coach. 

Myth: Meditation takes hours. 

Fact: “Some people think you have to have hours every day to meditate and literally shut yourself in a cave. Caves are highly overrated and in this busy world, no one has hours to meditate. People can benefit from five-minute meditation breaks. Need a mental recharge? Stop, pause and gently close your eyes. Count your breaths without trying to alter them, in and out, until you reach a count of five, then start over again. After this brief pause, you will feel like a new person,” said Heidi J. Dalzell, psychologist, coach and co-author of “A Clinician’s Guide to Gender Identity and Body Image.”