That glow

you are not a bad person

but there were some things that

broke you. and sometimes a broken

spirit does things that even they,

themselves do not quite understand.

like hurt the ones they love the most.

like build walls. like pretend that

they do not care when inside they

are quietly weeping. i know.

you have seen the depths of some

terrible places. things that took

every ounce of peace from your body

and sacrificed it at the altar of

survival. but you have known soft 

breezes too. the ones that whispered

their silences into nape of your

neck and told you not let go.

there is still breath in your lungs

and a fire that’s burning. hold on

to that glow. hold on.

You can wait forever: Friday thoughts

 You can fight with everything you have. You can hold on for as long as you can. You can force yourself into mental gymnastics to pick apart signs. You can have your friends read into texts and emails. You can decide that you know what’s best for you and right for you. Mostly, you can wait.

You can wait forever.

What isn’t right for you will never remain in your life.

There is no job, person, or city that you can force to be right for you if it is not, though you can pretend for a while. You can play games with yourself, you can justify and make ultimatums. You can say you’ll try just a little longer, and you can make excuses for why things aren’t working out right now.

The truth is that what is right for you will come to you and stay with you and won’t stray from you for long. The truth is that when something is right for you, it brings you clarity, and when something is wrong for you, it brings you confusion.

You get stuck when you try to make something that’s wrong for you right. When you try to force it into a place in your life in which it doesn’t belong. You get split; you breed this internal conflict which you cannot resolve. The more it intensifies, the more you mistake it for passion. How could you ever feel so strongly about something that isn’t right?

Letting Go

the economics of letting go

lately i’ve been thinking about

physical things and emotional things:

everything i have to carry.

i feel burdened with memories.

and the way i will hold on to

an item or thought

just in case

it will be of significance later.

i rehearse lines from a conversation had.

memories.

i never let anything gather dust.

because we never know if things

are going to be of

more or less

value in the future.

but lately i have stopped agonising over

the economics of letting go.

i am telling myself

it is okay to forgot.

i am making room for better things.

like light.

like nothing at all.

Hold on !

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream- and not make dreams your master;

If you can think- and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and -toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And soo hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘ Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

‘ Or walk with kings- nor lose the common touch

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And- which is more – you’ll be Man, my son!