She’s pretty amazing at loving

She isn’t the easiest girl to love.

she has this bad habit of overthinking. She tends to 

overreact and she gets a little insecure every once in a

while. She’ll be needy for your attention. She wants to

literally take up all of your time and she’ll require a lot of

reassurance. She isn’t capable of fully trusting you. She

doesn’t know when to stop fighting with you even if she’s

wrong. She has no problem pushing you away if she feels

like you’re close to hurting her. Loving her will stress you

out, loving her will make you angry, loving her will break 

your heart at times, loving her will test you, loving her will

challenge you, and loving her will change you. It may get

so demanding that you’ll be tempted to walk away, it may

get so hard that you’ll think about giving up, and it may

get so complicated that you won’t want to deal with her

anymore. Loving her means you get to see her at her worst

and most vulnerable and that is something that you’ll have

to be strong enough to handle because she needs someone

who’s patient enough to understand why she is who she is

today. It’s not gonna be an easy relationship with her.

But if she is in love with you, then she can promise that

you’ll be loved with such passion and intensity that you’ll

forget what life felt like before she came along because 

she’ll always be there to put your heart back together after

breaking it. Maybe she’s not the best at being loved,

but she’s pretty amazing at loving.

LONELY

 I have been lonely for a while now. I used to say it’s because I loved my solitude and independence.

I’m Thirty-one now and I don’t think loneliness is cutting it anymore.

Curious cat. I wonder if I live like this because my days may be numbered? Or do I live this because I’m fucked up in the head?

I’m better alone. I’m better alone. I’m better alone. I’m better alone. I’m better alone.

BUT if you keep telling yourself you’re bird, one day you’ll think you can fly.

Fighting the urge to disappear, fighting the emotions when I get involved with someone. Reminding myself it’s okay to like someone, yet still screaming in my head ” None of this means anything, they’re just nice and even if they did, you don’t deserve it!”

Stop being happy. stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy.

I become this dragon people are afraid of, protecting what little faith I have left in me. It’s crazy for some to see how this vulnerability IS me. My skin itches because I will never admit it.

I will flood your life with my chaotic way of thinking though.

I will drown you in love.

And I may leave.

I might disappear into the night.

It’s completely selfish, I agree.

It’s the only way I know how to love. Either completely or not at all. I cling onto the hope that one day, 

someone will have patience.

My Silence

 My silence means I am tired of fighting

and now there is nothing left to fight for. 

My silence means I am tired of explaining 

my feelings to you, but now I don’t have 

the energy to explain them anymore . 

My silence means I have adapted to the changes in my life 

and I don’t want to complain.

My silence means I am on self healing process 

and I am trying to forget everything I ever wanted from you.

My silence means I am just trying to move on 

gracefully with all my dignity.