HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU’RE SICK OF IT

 Wanna learn how to change your life?  How to totally change your WHOLE life around?

If so, I’m qualified to be your guide, not because I have managed to make my own life perfect in every possible way, but because I have managed to screw it up in every possible way and then figure out how to slowly climb out of the hole of desperation I found myself in.  Climb out of that hole with sweat beads on my forehead and dirt under my fingernails.

Many years ago when I first started suffering from depression, I thought my depression was a disease of the brain that had struck me out of nowhere.  I just wasn’t happy with anything even though I had everything.  I didn’t know why I was unhappy or how to stop being unhappy.  All I knew was that I was so unhappy I barely wanted to be alive anymore.

So I went to the doctor and got a prescription for antidepressants.  And I got myself a therapist and talked about my life for 50 minutes every Wednesday at 7pm.

And I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.

I had my medications adjusted.  Again.  And again.  And again.  And again.

And nothing.

My unhappiness wouldn’t lift.

Until I finally came to realize that my unhappiness was not a disease that had struck out of nowhere like the flu virus does every fall.

My distress, my exhaustion, my hopelessness, my unwillingness to continue living…  All of it was a result of living the wrong kind of life.  The kind of life that a person like me wasn’t well suited for.

I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).  I am an intuitive introvert.  And I was copying the lifestyles of non-HSP extroverts.  

It would have been the perfect life for many – maybe even most? – other people.  It was the life society tells us to want.

But it just wasn’t the kind of life I needed or wanted in order to be healthy and happy.

And the only way for me to get better was by letting that life go.  Completely dismantling it.

My life needed a gut-job renovation – one room at a time.

And that’s what I have been working on for a few years now.  Slowly nudging my life into the direction that works for me.  Slowly learning how to change my life.  Rebuilding it little by little.

I have done this in so many areas of my life now that I feel like I have become quite the life improvement expert.  🙂  I have a method nailed down.  I have figured out what works and what doesn’t work.

So today I wanted to share with you some of my secrets for making life changes in case your life is in need of a little (or a big!) sprucing up too.

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE AROUND

1. MAKE A DETAILED LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU ARE DISSATISFIED WITH IN YOUR LIFE

You can’t fix a problem, if you don’t know what the problem is.  So the first step in transforming your life is to become crystal clear about what the problem areas are.  What are you unhappy with exactly?

Here is a list of possibilities to get you started.

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

• Sleep/Energy levels
• Exercise
• Diet
• Stress levels

MENTAL WELL-BEING

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Other

RELATIONSHIPS

• Significant other
• Kids
• Extended family
• Friendships

WORK

• The kind of work you are doing
• The place where you work
• The people you are working with
• How much money you are making

HOBBIES & INTERESTS

• What you do for fun
• How much time you have to devote to your interests

WHERE YOU LIVE

• City/town
• Neighborhood
• Your apartment or house

If these prompts don’t get your wheels turning – if you just have a vague feeling that you are unhappy, but you are not sure why – then work on #2 first and come back to this step.

2. CREATE A VISION OF YOUR IDEAL LIFE

You will never be able to build the kind of life you want to live if you don’t know what that life is like.  So the next step is to figure out what exactly you want and create a detailed vision of your ideal life.

How do you want to feel?  What do you want to do?  Who do you want to be with?

In order to complete this step successfully, here are a few things to keep in mind:

SELF AWARENESS IS KEY

You need to find your authentic self.  You need to become aware of your true preferences, your personality traits, your strengths, and your weaknesses.  This is the only way to create a life that is a good match to the unique person that is YOU.

THIS IS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT

The only way to create a life that YOU are happy with is to focus on what YOU want from life.  Let go of other people’s expectations from you or for you.  Let go of what you have been taught you should want and figure out what you actually want.

LIKING SOMETHING IN THEORY IS NOT THE SAME AS LIKING SOMETHING IN PRACTICE

Liking the IDEA of something, is not the same as ACTUALLY enjoying it.  For example, I like the IDEA of having seven kids all happily running around my house, but I know that IN PRACTICE having a large family would be way too exhausting for a highly sensitive introvert like me.

ADMIRING SOMEONE DOESN’T MEAN YOU WOULD BE HAPPY LIVING THEIR LIFE

We can have great regard for some people and admire what they are doing with their lives, but know that we would be miserable living their lives.

SETTLING WILL PUT YOU RIGHT BACK TO WHERE YOU STARTED

You want to change your life, because you are unhappy with it as it stands.  So as you create your vision, let go of self imposed limitations that will leave you settling for just a different variety of unhappy.  Let go of “normal”.  Let go of “reasonable”.  Let yourself aim high.  Let yourself dream.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO KEEP ADJUSTING YOUR VISION

As human beings, we are changing, growing, and developing all the time.  We are constantly learning new things about ourselves and the world.  Don’t be afraid to keep course correcting and adjusting your vision, as doors open to opportunities you didn’t even know existed before.

EXERCISES AND ARTICLES FOR BRAINSTORMING YOUR IDEAL LIFE

For more help with creating a vision for your ideal life, check out the Self Discovery section of my website.

3. PUT THE LIFE AREAS TO BE CHANGED INTO PRIORITY ORDER

You absolutely CAN change your whole life, but you can’t change your whole life overnight.  Whenever I have tried to implement too many changes at once or whenever I have tried to achieve too much in too short of a period of time, I have ended up right back in square one: overwhelmed, stressed out, and unhappy.

So put the problem areas in priority order and work on them in that order.

We all have our unique priorities in life and you should stay true to yours.  In my own life, I have found that physical well-being has to remain priority number 1.  If I’m tired and not feeling well, it’s very difficult for me to work on reaching any of my other goals.  So sufficient rest, good nutrition, and regular exercise are kind of the foundation on which everything else in my life is built upon.

Here are my simple rules for how much change to take on at any one time:

WORK ON ONE HABIT AT A TIME

If you are changing a habit, work on ONE habit at a time.  When that ONE habit has become automatic, work on the next one.  For example, when my babies weren’t babies anymore, I wanted to start exercising again and improve my diet.  I focused first on establishing an exercise routine.  After a few months, it had become second nature for me to go for a run first thing every morning and only then did I start making changes to my diet.

DON’T COMPROMISE YOUR HEALTH OR RELATIONSHIPS THAT MATTER THE MOST

When working to achieve other life goals, only take on as much as you can without compromising physical well-being and relationships that are most important to you.  For example, I’m working on changing my career at the moment, but it’s happening very slowly,.

4. LEARN HOW TO TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE – ONE AREA AT A TIME

One of the biggest obstacles to changing your life for the better is not knowing exactly how to go about it.  This has been a reoccurring theme of my depression as well: I’m unhappy, but I don’t know how to change things.  And when I don’t know how to change things, I start thinking it’s probably not even possible.

But here’s the thing.  Whatever problem you are struggling with, someone else in human history has struggled with as well.  Actually a whole lot of someones have likely struggled with the same problem.  And some of those someones are out there talking about overcoming that problem. Or recording podcasts.  Or crafting blog posts.  Or even writing entire books.

Take advantage of those people.  Learn from them.

Start with your life area priority #1 and research how other people have managed to make a similar change.  Google it.  Pinterest it.  Order a book from Amazon.  Check out the growing library of life change “how to’s” right here on Solutions To All Your Problems.

Some advice you run into won’t work for you, but some of it will.  Keep what works for you and ditch the rest.

5. SET SPECIFIC GOALS AND CREATE DETAILED PLANS FOR ACHIEVING THOSE GOALS

You know what you want and you know how other people have gotten exactly what you want.  It’s time for you to start taking action.

But action can be scary.  It’s new and different and OMG what if you fail?!

Here are two things I have learned to do to make action less scary:

SET SMART GOALS

SMART goals are:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Attainable
• Realistic
• Time-bound

For example, “to get in shape” is not a SMART goal.  “To be able to run for 30 minutes three months from now” is a SMART goal.

CREATE PLANS WITH ITTY BITTY BABY STEPS

Big goals are scary, because they are BIG.  They are GIANT and OVERWHELMING!  But they become a lot less so, if you break everything into itty bitty DOABLE baby steps.  Let’s take the “run for 30 minutes three months from now” example.  Here are the first itty bitty baby steps one could take to achieve this goal:

WEEK 1

• buy a pair of good running shoes
• find comfortable clothes to run in
• make a play list of music to listen to while exercising

WEEK 2

• day 1: 3 minutes of running + 15 minutes of walking
• day 2: 4 minutes of running + 15 minutes of walking
• day 3: 5 minutes of running + 15 minutes of walking

6. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR TIME

Making life changes takes time.  If you want to lead a healthier lifestyle, you probably need to find more time for sleep, exercise, relaxation, and cooking.  If you want to change careers, you probably need to find time for learning new skills.  If you want to connect with your significant other more, you probably need to find more time for hanging out.  And so on and so on…

Here are three ways to deal with the inevitable time issues:

START TIME BLOCKING

Here’s what I mean by time blocking: Start planning your days out in advance by writing down how you will be spending each half-hour block within the day.  It sounds super simple, but it works magic in terms of helping you be more intentional about how you are spending your time.

STICK TO YOUR PRIORITIES

Always keep YOUR personal priorities in mind when you are setting up your daily schedule.  When you don’t have time for everything, the things that are not TOP priority need to be cut.  And yes, this means that you need to start saying no to some people and activities you used to spend time on.

SLOW PROGRESS IS BETTER THAN NO PROGRESS

Sometimes you won’t be able to spend as much time as you would ideally like on whatever life goal you are working on at the moment.  When that happens, just do what you have time for.  Remember that slow progress is better than no progress!  Even if it takes you ten years to get to where you want to be, it’s better to get there in ten years than to not start at all and still be stuck ten years from now.

7. KEEP YOURSELF MOTIVATED

Making life changes is hard and takes time.  How do you stay motivated to keep going?

In my experience, here are the conditions that need to be present in order for you to stick to it for the long haul:

YOU ARE EXCITED ABOUT YOUR GOAL

When you nail down #2 – creating the vision for your ideal life – it becomes a lot easier to find the motivation to take the steps you need to take.  You will be EXCITED to do what you need to do, because this is something YOU ACTUALLY WANT.  More than you have ever wanted anything else.  (And if that’s not how you feel about your vision, then it’s back to the drawing board!)

YOUR TO-DO LIST IS DOABLE

The more you are able to break the tasks ahead of you into baby steps, the more doable they become.  Set outrageous end goals, but break them down into itty bitty baby steps.

YOU HAVE A GROWTH MINDSET

Make the words YET, BUT your new mantra, as in “I don’t know how to do this YET, BUT I can learn.”

Yes, changing your life is hard. But it’s even harder to stay stuck in a life you don’t like.

Start working on your new life today!

11 Ways to Beat the Monday Blues

 Does the start of your workweek trigger overwhelming feelings of anxiety, sadness, or stress? Do you lack passion and motivation on Monday morning? Are you sluggish or tense?

If you’re nodding affirmatively, you might have a case of the Monday Blues.

“The ‘Monday Blues’ describe a set of negative emotions that many people get at the beginning of the workweek if they’re not happy at work,” says Alexander Kjerulf, an international author and speaker on happiness at work. “It contains elements of depression, tiredness, hopelessness and a sense that work is unpleasant but unavoidable.”

The Monday Blues are so prevalent that they have become a cultural phenomenon, “and this makes it easy to laugh them off as ‘just the way things are,’” he says. “But they can be much more than just a passing tiredness; they are often a serious warning sign that something is not right at work. If you were happy, you’d be excited and energized on Mondays, not tired and depressed.”

Rita Friedman, a Philadelphia-based career coach, agrees. “If you love your job and are passionate about what you’re doing, going in to work Monday morning is another opportunity to do what you love,” she says. “But if you’re feeling under-appreciated or unsatisfied with your job, it can be especially difficult to start another seemingly endless workweek.”

As it turns out, your case of the Mondays can have a negative impact on your performance and productivity—as well as the people around you.

“We know from countless studies in psychology and neurology that your current emotional state has a huge effect on the quality of your work and when you’re feeling blue you are less productive, less motivated, more pessimistic, less creative, less engaged and learn more slowly–just to mention a few effects,” Kjerulf says.

Ryan Kahn, a career coach, founder of The Hired Group, star of MTV ’s Hired, and author of Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad, says the Monday Blues are contagious. “Your stress or bad mood can drastically change the overall work environment,” he says.

Friedman agrees. She says everyone’s productivity is affected by your Monday Blues. “When you’re unhappy at work, it makes it very difficult for those around you to be happy, and oftentimes just one worker with a case of the Mondays can spread the doldrums to the whole team.”

Here are 11 ways to beat (or avoid) the dreaded Monday Blues:

1. Identify the problem. “The first thing to do is to ask yourself what’s wrong,” Kjerulf says. If you have the Monday Blues most weeks, then this is not something you should laugh off or just live with. It’s a significant sign that you are unhappy at work and you need to fix it or move on and find another job.

Sara Sutton Fell, CEO and founder of FlexJobs, suggests making a list of the things that are bringing you down in your job. “Maybe it’s a negative co-worker or a meeting with your boss first thing on Monday morning, or maybe it’s that you don’t feel challenged–or maybe it’s all of the above,” she says. “In either case, clarifying what is bothering you can help you try to be active in finding solutions. It’s a way of empowering you to take charge and try to improve the situation.”

Kjerulf says if you only suffer the occasional bout of mild Monday Blues, then you can do some things to successfully cheer yourself and others up on an otherwise dreary Monday.

2. Prepare for Monday on Friday. “Mondays can be extra stressful from work that has potentially piled up from the previous week and, for many, can be challenging to jump right back in,” Kahn says.

To help combat that Monday morning anxiety, be sure to leave yourself as few dreadful tasks as possible on Friday afternoon, Friedman says. “By taking care of the things you least want to handle at the end of one work week, you’re making the start of the next that much better.”

If you do have any unpleasant tasks awaiting your attention Monday morning, get them done as early as possible so that you don’t spend the rest of the day procrastinating or “feeling as if there’s a black cloud hanging over your head,” she says. “Make that uncomfortable phone call, resolve that outstanding issue, or clean up that mess that’s waiting for you. You’ll feel a lot better once it’s over.”

You’ll also want to make sure your calendar is up to date and synched, and you have a good view of and handle on your upcoming work week–especially Monday, says Deborah Shane, a career author, featured writer, speaker, and media and marketing consultant. “What do you need to prepare for and get organized with? Get it done Friday, or by Sunday, if possible.”

3. Make a list of the things you’re excited about. “We often look at the week ahead of us and think of all the tough stuff we have to do and the difficult tasks ahead of us,” Kjerulf says. “Turn that around. Sunday evening, make a list of three things you look forward to at work that week. This might put you in a more positive mood. If you can’t think of three things you look forward to, that might be an indication that you need to make some changes.”

4. Unplug for the weekend. If possible, try to avoid checking work e-mail or voicemail over the weekend, especially if you’re not going to respond until Monday anyway, Friedman says. “It can be tempting to know what’s waiting for you, but drawing clearly defined boundaries between work and personal time can help keep things in check. When you leave the office on Friday, leave your office problems there and focus on enjoying your time off. Sometimes going back to work on Monday feels especially frustrating because you let it creep into your off-time, and so it never even feels like you had a weekend at all.”

5. Get enough sleep and wake up early. Go to bed a little early on Sunday night and be sure to get enough sleep so that you wake up feeling well-rested, Friedman says. “If you’re only running on a couple of hours of sleep, it’s unlikely that you’re going to feel good about going anywhere when the alarm goes off Monday morning.”

Although it might seem counter-intuitive, waking up an extra 15 to 30 minutes early on Monday morning can actually make going back to the office easier. “Having a little more ‘me time’ instead of feeling like you’re trapped in a time crunch can make that transition a little easier,” she says. “Taking the time to enjoy a healthy breakfast, do some exercises, or take the dog for a walk can help you feel more centered for the rest of the day, and can help you remember that you’re not a robot who just sleeps and works.”

6. Dress for success. “Dress up, perk up and show up ready to be positive and help others be positive,” Shane says. “Be the light and energy that makes others have a better day. Show and share your spirit, charisma and vibe and make yourself magnetic.”

Kahn agrees. He suggests you use Monday as the day to wear your favorite new outfit. This can help build your confidence around the office and might get you a few compliments from co-workers, he says.

Sutton Fell says when you look good, you feel good. “Feeling good about yourself is half of the battle on Monday mornings, because rather than being deflated by work you want to face it with confidence.”

7. Be positive. Start the week out with an “attitude of gratitude,” Kahn says. “Take time to recognize and appreciate the things that you enjoy about work.”

This starts before you even get to work. To pump yourself up on your way in to work, try listening to your favorite songs, Friedman says. “Think about the type of playlist you would create for a workout, and incorporate that same upbeat, high-energy music into your morning preparation or commute.”

When you get to the office, do your best not to be a complainer–and keep your Monday morning grumpiness to yourself, Friedman adds. “In the same vein, don’t listen to other people’s Monday gripes. Creating or contributing to a culture of complaining is no way to improve your attitude.”

Shane says you must make a decision to turn negative reluctance and dread into a “positive, productive and excited welcome to Monday energy.” Start with Friday and make sure your desk is organized, and your work to-do list is ready to go for the following week. “Take Sunday to rest, review and reward, but plan for and get ready to leap into Monday.”

If you’re able to be a source of positivity in the workplace, not only will you make your day more enjoyable, but you’ll also make the work environment better for those around you, Kahn concludes.

8. Make someone else happy. Make a vow to do something nice for someone else as soon as you get to work on Monday, Sutton Fell suggests. “Doing nice things for other people definitely can lift the spirits, and in this case, it could actually help shift the overall mood in your office,” she says. “Paying it forward can yield great results all around.”

Kjerulf agrees. He says we know from research in positive psychology that one of the best ways to cheer yourself up is to make someone else happy. “You might compliment a co-worker, do something nice for a customer, help out a stranger on the street or find some other way to make someone else’s day a little better.”

9. Keep your Monday schedule light. Knowing that Mondays are traditionally busy days at the office, a good strategy is keep you Monday schedule as clear as possible, Kahn says. “When you’re planning meetings ahead, try to schedule them for Tuesdays and Wednesdays. This will help you to come into Monday with more ease from the weekend.”

Instead of tackling the biggest and most complicated tasks early on Monday, take some time for easier, more routine stuff, Kjerulf says. “This might get you up and running and give you the energy for the hairier tasks.”

But beware: If you have too much free time—you’ll sit around “feeling blue,” Shane says.

10. Have fun at work. Take it upon yourself to do things that you enjoy in the office on Monday, Kahn says. “Maybe bring donuts for your colleagues or take a quick break to catch up with friend in the office. Sharing stories about the weekend with co-workers can be fun and also is a great way to strengthen your interoffice network.”

Sutton Fell says to schedule a weekly Monday coffee break or lunch with a friend. “Create an event that you will look forward to on Mondays as a way to break up the day with some known positivity.  At the very least, it gives you a chance to take a deep breath, talk with a friend, and regroup for the rest of the day.”

11. Have a post-work plan.  Your day shouldn’t just be about trudging through Monday to get it over with, but about looking forward to something. “By making Monday a special day where you get to go out with friends, make your favorite dinner, or eat a bowl of popcorn and catch up on a TV show you recorded, the day doesn’t have to be all about getting up to go into the office,” Friedman says.

Guide from Beyond

This being human is a guesthouse.

 Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

Some momentary awareness comes

   as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

  who violently sweep your house

    empty of its furniture,

 still, treat each guest honorably.

  He may be clearing you out

    for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

  meet them at the door laughing,

      and invite them all in.

  Be grateful for whoever comes,

    because each has been sent

      as a guide from beyond.

Trapped

I’m my biggest problem

I’m my very last hope

My patheticness is humbling

I still don’t know how to cope

My mind is always on the run

Yet my body stays forever frozen

I always find myself stunned

At the paths of which I’ve chosen

My best never seems good enough

My best self can’t compete

Every single day seems tough

My worst self is hard to defeat

Constantly in a state of depression

Even when life’s going well

It is a different kind of oppression

Being trapped in your own personal hell

I know things could be worse

But things could always be better

Thinking I’ll only find peace in a hearse

Only content when I’m six feet under

I think of all the people id leave behind

I think about their sadness

But if only they could read my mind

Witness my mind’s madness

When the Binge Is Over

 Have you ever felt sad after finishing a series? When we finish binge watching a series, we actually mourn the loss. “We often go into a state of depression because of the loss we are experiencing,” he says. “We call this situational depression because it is stimulated by an identifiable, tangible event. Our brain stimulation is lowered (depressed) such as in other forms of depression.”

In a study done by the University of Toledo, 142 out of 408 participants identified themselves as binge-watchers. This group reported higher levels of stress, anxiety and depression than those who were not binge-watchers. But in examining the habits that come with binge-watching, it’s not hard to see why it would start to impact our mental health. For starters, if you’re not doing it with a roommate or partner, binge-watching can quickly become isolating.

When we disconnect from humans and over-connect to TV at the cost of human connection, eventually we will ‘starve to death’ emotionally.

“When we substitute TV for human relations we disconnect from our human nature and substitute for [the] virtual,” says Dr. Judy Rosenberg, psychologist and founder of the Psychological Healing Center in Sherman Oaks, CA. “We are wired to connect, and when we disconnect from humans and over-connect to TV at the cost of human connection, eventually we will ‘starve to death’ emotionally. Real relationships and the work of life is more difficult, but at the end of the day more enriching, growth producing and connecting.”

If you find yourself choosing a night in with Netflix over seeing friends and family, it’s a sign that this habit is headed into harmful territory. 

How to Binge-Watch Responsibly

The key to reaping the benefits of binge-watching without suffering from the negative repercussions is to set parameters for the time you spend with your television — which can be tough to do when you’re faced with cliff hangers that might be resolved if you just stay up for one more episode. “In addition to pleasure, we often binge-watch to obtain psychological closure from the previous episode,” says Carr. “However, because each new episode leaves you with more questions, you can engage in healthy binge-watching by setting a predetermined end time for the binge. For example, commit to saying, ‘after three hours, I’m going to stop watching this show for the night.”

Loneliness

 New year celebration and enthusiasm last only for an hour or a day but then everything start acting similar as last any other day. For me i was whole day busy with my system and now at the evening i feeling like alone. 

  loneliness everywhere , that you cant go outside and there is no such person whom with you can discuss about your whole day experience. and specially when there is nothing to share about . It just very regular day ….laptop….laptop…laptop

Have you had the experience of feeling lonely, like there is no one around and no one to talk to, as you sink into a state of sadness or anxiety that you fear you will never get over? Does such a feeling overwhelm you at times? If you’ve had such feelings of loneliness, you are far from alone. Loneliness is one of the most common, if unpleasant emotions that millions of people experience. For some, it may be a passing emotion. For others, it’s a recurring sense of desperation and sadness. But for all of us, it is part of being human.

Loneliness can lead to excessive drinking or binge eating, to suppress those unpleasant feelings. It can lead to depression and rumination, as you dwell on the question, “Why am I alone?” It can also lead to hopelessness. But having a strategy to deal with loneliness can be an important safeguard against depression, substance abuse, or even making bad choices for partners.

If you’re experiencing loneliness, there are some things you can do about it. Below are nine strategies for how to deal with being lonely ( i come across all this while google search).

Join a Class or Club

Whether it’s an art class, exercise class, or book club, joining a class or a club automatically exposes you to a group of people who share at least one of your interests. Check your local library or community college as well as city parks and recreation departments to see what’s available.

Joining a class or club can also provide a sense of belonging that comes with being part of a group. This can stimulate creativity, give you something to look forward to during the day, and help stave off loneliness.

Volunteer

Volunteering for a cause you believe in can provide the same benefits as taking a class or joining a club: meeting others, being part of a group, and creating new experiences. It also brings the benefits of altruism and can help you find more meaning in your life.

In addition to decreasing loneliness, this can bring greater happiness and life satisfaction. Additionally, working with those who have less than you can help you feel a deeper sense of gratitude for what you have in your own life.

Find Support Online

Because loneliness is a somewhat widespread issue, there are many people online who are looking for people to connect with. Find people with similar interests by joining Facebook or Meetup groups focused on your passions. Check to see if any apps you use, like fitness or workout apps, have a social element or discussion board to join.

You do have to be careful of who you meet over the internet (and, obviously, don’t give out any personal information like your bank account number), but you can find real support, connection, and lasting friendships from people you meet online.

A word of caution: Social media can actually increase feelings of loneliness and cause FOMO, or “fear of missing out” so be sure to check in with yourself if you’re starting to feel this way.

Strengthen Existing Relationships

You probably already have people in your life that you could get to know better or connections with family that could be deepened. If so, why not call friends more often, go out with them more, and find other ways to enjoy your existing relationships and strengthen bonds?

If you’re struggling to find the motivation to reach out to your loved ones, it might be helpful to start slowly. Come up with just one supportive friend or family member who you could imagine reaching out to. It’s also reassuring to know that strong social support is beneficial for your mental health.

Adopt a Pet

Pets, especially dogs and cats, offer so many benefits, and preventing loneliness is one of them. Rescuing a pet combines the benefits of altruism and companionship, and fights loneliness in several ways.

It can connect you with other people—walking a dog opens you up to a community of other dog-walkers, and a cute dog on a leash tends to be a people magnet. Additionally, pets provide unconditional love, which can be a great salve for loneliness.

Talk to Strangers

An easy way to find connections in everyday life is by interacting in small ways with acquaintances or strangers you encounter. In fact, research shows that doing so contributes to our social and emotional well-being. So next time you grab a cup of coffee or see your neighbor on a walk, strike up a conversation. You might just find you feel happier afterward.

Do you have a smartphone that you frequently check while out and about? Think about putting it away a bit more. Whether you’re looking up directions or checking the news while waiting in line, research suggests that technology can get in the way of social opportunities.

Practice Self-Care

When you’re feeling lonely, be sure you’re doing what you can to take care of yourself in other ways. Self-care is always a good idea, but especially when you are feeling down. Eating nutritious food, exercising, and getting enough sleep will only make you feel better in the long run. Bonus: Take a workout class or join a running club for exercise and social interaction.

Keep Busy

Distract yourself from those feelings of loneliness and make a date with yourself. Do you have a hobby you’ve always wanted to take up or a home improvement project that’s been lingering on your to-do list? Take some time to invest in yourself and your interests and keep your mind occupied in the process.

See a Therapist

Research suggests that loneliness and symptoms of depression can perpetuate each other, meaning the more lonely you are, the more depressed you feel, and vice versa.

Sometimes just “getting out there” and meeting other people isn’t enough. It’s possible to still feel lonely when you’re around them, which could actually be a sign of depression or social anxiety. If this is the case for you, it may be a good idea to seek psychotherapy to help with feelings of loneliness, especially if you also feel other symptoms of depression.

Some forms of therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you to change your thoughts as well as your actions to help you not only experience less loneliness but have more tools to prevent it. Whatever you do to combat loneliness, know that you are truly not alone, and there are many things you can do to feel more connected.

and im personally trying to implement one of this , as the first one is not working for me, so let see how i can cope with other option. do share your ideas to deal with loneliness.